Ginger Thulander has seen it all: toppled wedding cakes, missing DJ’s, lost wedding parties, and everything in between. Thulander, an experienced wedding planner, former founder and editor of New Hampshire Wedding Magazine and founder of the popular website GetMarriedAnywhere.com, has turned her experience into a new book, Wedding Day Wisdom. The book is a light-hearted but common-sense approach to planning a wedding and reception, complete with weddings gone-awry horror stories to illustrate the importance of organized planning.
Before becoming a wedding expert in her own right, Thulander ran reception rooms and managed off site catered events for Marriott Corporation. It was there she saw and heard the majority of her wedding day horror stories that she’s included in her new book.
“The things I saw were mostly caused by incomplete planning,” she said. “I constantly witnessed gaffes or even outright disasters that were teh result of not having a back up plan, or not paying attention to details.”
Thulander says that for a new bride-to-be, crossing all the T’s and dotting all the I’s all by one’s self is nearly impossible, and can cause too much stress.
“Even the most organized bride has a hard time pulling back from the situation and regarding the wedding objectively,” she said. “What every bride needs is someone with a cool head, an eye for detail and the ability to follow through on even the smallest of details. Many times, something that seems like a negligible detail gets overlooked and can turn into a major problem on the day of the wedding.
Thulander gives an example of something as obvious as the pronunciation of the new couple’s surname.
“If you don’t go over it with thehost or DJ, how do you know that they know how to pronounce it?” she said. It’s a small thing, but it’s something that you could be embarrassed by, and it’s something that could easily be avoided.”
Another common mishap is that the men in the wedding party often wait until the last minute to try on their tux0only to find it doesn’t fit properly.
“It’s not enough tot make sure the tuxes are picked up on time-they have to be tried on.” “Now, you might just assume that your best man and ushers, even the groom, will try them on right away. And that’s where you can get into big trouble-by assuming.”
Thulander also says that another problem she sees time and again is the desire by couples to break certain traditions and breach hundreds of years of wedding etiquette.
“I’ve had brides ask me why they can’t send out invitations via email. I’ve had brides who wanted to serve a dessert-only buffet at their reception. What I try to do is explain that there are certain expectations people have when they attend a wedding. The rules are in place, they have been for hundreds of years and with very good reason.”
Thulander says there are plenty of other areas in a wedding where couples can break traditions and make their affair more personal but breaking traditional etiquette is not one of them.
“I always tell brides to take off the veil while they’re planning. Get the ‘bride’ right out of the equation and think of this as if you were planning a dinner party for your families,” she said. “Think your situations through very thoroughly. As a bride and groom, remember that this day is also for your guests. Always be concerned with the comfort and expectations of all your guests, not just those of your own generation. Extend the utmost consideration to all those who become involved in your wedding in any way.”
And what if, after you’ve crossed all the T’s something still goes wrong? If confronted with an unexpected disaster, keep smiling. Just as the actors say, the show must go on. If you don’t make a big deal of it, nobody else will, either. Just act “as if” it doesn’t affect you in the slightest.
This book is certain to help avoid some mishaps. Purchase your copy today!
Michelle Stanley, Hippo Press
