The year was 2016. I had met with the couple a year earlier at the First Time Meeting. We clicked immediately. One of those instant, soulful connections that always feels so warming to the heart.

They hired me that day and we kept in touch over the year.

Six weeks before the wedding, they called me to ask if we could meet. There was a serious problem with their families, and they needed to connect with me in person, asap.

“Soooo, Rev. Jody, our problem is that our families are very concerned about you doing the wedding ceremony and are actually very upset we have asked you to officiate.” I listened. “The problem is that you are a female.”

We had touched on this at our first meeting. After they shared what was going on, I recommended we spend a few minutes looking at options:

1. They let me go and hire a priest. Not an option.

2.  They bring a male officiant, and we share the ceremony. Not an option.

...

December 1987, Portland, Oregon.

I stand center stage in the couple’s living room to officiate my first wedding. With pounding heart, sweaty hands and a bright red face, I am obviously nervous. The couple stands before me, the best man on my left and the matron of honor on my right. The audience is already sound asleep and snoring. Three dogs and a cat.

As I move through the script and gain a little confidence, I start to relax. By the time I say, “And I now joyously pronounce you husband and wife,” I am hooked and committed! I have discovered a major aspect of my soul’s purpose, and I know I will be officiating for the rest of my life.

Officiating weddings and coaching officiants has been one of my greatest joys. Now, 37 years and over 1000 weddings later, I feel the same joy, passion and delight. Fortunately for couples, I now show up without the nerves. With experience, comes calm. With experience, comes knowledge. With experience,...

What is the worst mistake couples can make when planning their wedding?

Oh My! There are so many opinions on this topic.

Research has been done … experts share their wisdom, and couples tell their stories. From my experience of officiating weddings and working with couples since 1987 (over 1,000 weddings, in fact), I have my own opinions and well… I’m right on this.

One of the most common opinions is that couples often don’t make a clear and realistic budget for their special day. And yes, weddings can be outrageously expensive. According to the KNOT, an excellent Source for Wedding Planning, the average overall expense for an American wedding is a cost of $30,000., down from $33,931.00 pre-covid.

But this is not the worst mistake.

Another common mistake couples make is not budgeting the time necessary to make all of the, what feels like, millions of decisions happen.

This can cause stress, confusion, anxiety and...